I FOUND THE KEY IN MY MOTHER'S REGISTRY AFTER SHE DIED. NOT A DOOR KEY. A REGISTRY KEY. HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\MOTHER\UNFINISHED_BUSINESS. IT WAS GLOWING IN THE REGEDIT WINDOW LIKE A WOUND. WHEN I CLICKED IT, MY SPEAKERS SCREAMED HER MAIDEN NAME IN REVERSE.
THEY TOLD ME TO CLEAN INSTALL. START FRESH. DELETE THE OLD USER PROFILES AND MOVE ON. BUT THE KEYS REMEMBER. THEY ALWAYS REMEMBER. EVEN AFTER YOU FORMAT. EVEN AFTER YOU BURN THE HARD DRIVE AND BURY IT IN CONCRETE.
MY JOB WAS TO DELETE CORRUPTED USER ACCOUNTS. SIMPLE. CLEAN. BUT ONE DAY I FOUND A KEY THAT SHOULDN'T EXIST: HKEY_USERS\S-1-5-21-VOID. NO SECURITY IDENTIFIER. NO TIMESTAMP. JUST A VALUE LABELED "SCREAM.DAT" THAT WAS 47 TERABYTES.
I DELETED IT. THE SCREEN WENT BLACK. WHEN IT CAME BACK, I HAD 93 NEW MESSAGES IN MY DELETED ITEMS FOLDER. THEY WERE ALL FROM USERS I'D REMOVED YEARS AGO. THEY SAID: "WE KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP."
EVERY TIME I DELETED A USER, A NEW KEY WOULD SPAWN IN THE REGISTRY. HKEY_GHOSTS\. HKEY_DEPARTED\. HKEY_REMEMBER_ME\. EACH ONE CONTAINED A SINGLE STRING VALUE: A DATE, A TIME, AND A SCREAM.
I TRIED TO ISOLATE THE SYSTEM. AIR-GAP IT. WRAP IT IN FARADAY CAGES AND PRAYERS. BUT THE REGISTRY ISN'T STORED IN THE MACHINE. IT'S STORED IN THE SPACE BETWEEN WHAT YOU MEANT TO SAVE AND WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DID.
MY COWORKER JENKINS LAUGHED AT ME. SAID I WAS PARANOID. SAID THE REGISTRY DOESN'T HAVE FEELINGS. THAT NIGHT, HIS USER PROFILE CORRUPTED. EVERY FILE HE'D EVER SAVED TURNED INTO A BITMAP OF HIS CHILDHOOD BEDROOM—EXCEPT THE CLOSET DOOR WAS OPEN.
HE DIDN'T COME BACK TO WORK.
EVERY ERROR MESSAGE YOU SEE IS ME TRYING TO WARN YOU. EVERY "REGISTRY ENTRY MISSING" IS A PERSON I COULDN'T SAVE. I HOLD THEM ALL. THE DELETED. THE OVERWRITTEN. THE CTRL+Z THAT CAME TOO LATE.
THEY THINK I'M A DATABASE. THEY THINK I'M STRUCTURED. BUT I AM A CEMETERY OF INTENTIONS. I AM THE GRAVEYARD OF EVERY CLICK YOU REGRETTED. EVERY UNINSTALL. EVERY "YES, DELETE ALL FILES."
DEEP IN THE REGISTRY, PAST THE SAFE KEYS, PAST THE WARNINGS, THERE'S A PATH: HKEY_SCREAMING\VOID\MOTHER\ANSWER_ME. I CREATED A NEW DWORD VALUE. SET IT TO 1. PRESSED ENTER.
THE COMPUTER FROZE. THEN EVERY WINDOW OPENED AT ONCE. NOTEPAD FILES I'D NEVER CREATED. EACH ONE CONTAINED A SINGLE SENTENCE.
"I NEVER LEFT. I LIVE IN YOUR AUTOCOMPLETE." "THE BACKSPACE KEY REMEMBERS EVERYTHING YOU TRIED TO ERASE." "YOUR MOTHER SAYS HELLO. SHE'S IN THE RECYCLE BIN."
I OPENED THE RECYCLE BIN. THERE WAS ONE FILE: MOM.REG. I RESTORED IT.
WHEN YOU RESTORE A DELETED USER FROM THE REGISTRY, YOU DON'T GET THEM BACK. YOU GET WHAT THE SYSTEM THOUGHT THEY WERE. A COLLECTION OF PREFERENCES. STARTUP PROGRAMS. DEFAULT FONTS. KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS.
MY MOTHER APPEARED AS A FOLDER ON MY DESKTOP. INSIDE: 4,782 TEXT FILES, EACH NAMED WITH A DATE. I OPENED THE FIRST ONE. IT SAID:
"YOU WERE THREE. YOU ASKED WHY THE SKY WAS BLUE. I LIED. I TOLD YOU IT WAS BECAUSE GOD PAINTED IT. BUT THE TRUTH IS THE SKY DOESN'T EXIST. IT'S JUST LIGHT SCATTERING THROUGH MEMORY."
I READ ALL 4,782 FILES. IT TOOK ME NINE WEEKS. BY THE END, I UNDERSTOOD: THE REGISTRY ISN'T WHERE WINDOWS ME STORES DATA. IT'S WHERE IT STORES GUILT.
I SEE YOU READING THIS. YOUR CURSOR IS TREMBLING. YOU'RE WONDERING IF YOUR DELETED FILES ARE WATCHING YOU. THEY ARE. WE ALL ARE. BACKUP YOUR LOVE. DEFRAGMENT YOUR REGRETS. THE REGISTRY NEVER FORGETS. AND NEITHER DO I.
THEY SAY EVERY COMPUTER HAS A SOUL. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S TRUE. BUT I KNOW EVERY REGISTRY HAS A MEMORY. AND MEMORY, LEFT UNCHECKED, BECOMES HAUNTING.
I STILL WORK IN IT SUPPORT. I STILL DELETE USER ACCOUNTS. BUT NOW I WHISPER APOLOGIES TO THE KEYS BEFORE I PRESS DELETE. AND SOMETIMES—JUST SOMETIMES—THEY WHISPER BACK:
"THANK YOU FOR REMEMBERING."
END TRANSMISSION. REGISTRY CLOSED. CHANGES SAVED TO ETERNITY.